Category: Herbal tea

Joy Tea: Pukka teas

Joy Tea is part of a range of Pukka teas and a general wellbeing fad for providing emotional sustenance through herbal teas, usually with a self-care undertone. While taste and smell are always evocative, I’d hesitate to agree that herbal tea could meet my emotional needs in the same way that a stiff black coffee can turf me out of bed in the mornings. As Nina Stibbe says, ‘Coffee is not a drink… it’s not a drink like tea is a drink. Coffee is a drug. It’s just like having a cigarette or pill…’* Look, I enjoy herbal tea, really I do, but to suggest that at least the supermarket-level retail version has any psychoactive properties seems to be stretching it a bit. 

Image: https://www.pukkaherbs.com/uk/en/products/joy-tea

I picked up this particular variety while shopping for the final ingredients for Christmas dinner at a huge Tesco Extra, one of life’s less joyful experiences. My other half was hell bent on finding some ready-made stewed red cabbage, and I wasn’t sure that red cabbage was actually a proper part of Christmas dinner, so I started to flag quite quickly after seeking it out in the vegetable section, the ready meal section and eventually the freezer section. The endless patience required for the red cabbage quest plus the need to choose between a massive number of essentially the same beans meant we were starting to get fractious when we got to the tea aisle, so the choice of wellness option seemed obvious, as did grabbing something fast and fighting our way to the checkout as quickly as we could. 

Once brewed, Joy Tea is a golden caramel colour and smells somewhere between dusty potpourri and the orange creams neither of us like in a box of chocolates. But the flavour is a lot more exciting. Many herbal teas tend to be a bit bland, flavour wise, or they smell of bath oil and taste of nothing. This one tastes like high-end neroli perfume smells – both floral and fruity, both fresh and warm – with a thickness that makes it feel quite substantial. Joy is still a bit of a stretch, but this tea genuinely brings some sunny cheer into a cold afternoon, and it’s warming enough for a blustery day. I just wish it would stop reminding me of shopping for red cabbage.

* In Went to London, Took the Dog

Costa Coffee, Balham

Traffic grinds along; clattering busses and groaning motorbikes. The first schoolkids have started to walk past, some neat in new uniforms and some with saggy blazers and untucked shirts. There’s a general increase in pedestrian traffic, all wandering past the tables not quite lined up outside the coffee shop. It’s in a big street in a relatively wealthy area, yet has the transitory feel of a mainline station on a Sunday evening, when the trains are sparse or cancelled. The raggedy outside of the café, with its tumbleweed litter and scrolling loners, contrasts to the bright and neat interior with its chatty staff.

A lady with neon pink hair and double denim wanders up to me. ‘Have you got another pound?’ she asks.

‘Sorry,’ I say.

‘I’ll have to have some water before I go,’ she continues, patting her stomach. ‘I might go to the bank tomorrow. I’ve seen some leggings that I like.’

I smile, I have no idea what to say. Eventually, I settle on ‘I hope that goes okay’. She turns round and heads into the café.

A couple sit next to me, plonking down one espresso between them, then quickly evaporate. Children congregate in huddles at the bus stop and smaller knots outside the supermarket, emerging with plastic-wrapped snacks. The mint tea I ordered is now thoroughly steeped, and is destined to be more so since our conversationalist has now been replaced by an over-friendly wasp, whose attentions continue for some considerable

(wasp)

The tea is served as a bag in a tall glass mug with a fiddly handle accompanied by a pot of hot water that looks small, but makes a few cups. If this were at home, a co-habitee might make remarks about creating unnecessary washing up or

(wasp)

It’s particularly interested in my handbag, though there’s no sugar and it’s

(wasp)

The tea is kind of indeterminate. It has a mint flavour, but it’s like the mint flavour that comes with toothpaste or chewing gum, a sort of breath freshener and cooler rather than something that involves food or drink. There’s a lot of it, which is fine by me, but eventually the air starts to get chilly. The kids have long gone home, the fellow scrollers have moved on and even the wasp has packed up for the day, so I’m off too.

Breakfast tea(s) on Wimbledon Common

The early morning outside Wimbledon Tearooms is like the early morning on a campsite: general drowsiness, carping birds and a sharp retort of fresh air. ‘It’s nice,’ says the lady at the next table, contemplating a brownie, ‘But not Richmond Park nice’. Two teenagers slouch at the table next to her and the three discuss the virtues of cakes like red velvet, carrot and lemon drizzle.

Like me, most of the people here look as if they’re still waking up, but the dogs are straining on their leads, enthusiastic about everything. A border collie watches, tongue out, as food and drink is distributed to a toddler, and a spaniel makes a break for freedom, nearly towing its owner under a table.

There are lots of paper cups with various fillings, and the odd frankly magnificent-looking white bread sandwich with glorious, artery-hardening contents. The muted morning conversation is interrupted every so often by staff announcing the production of the next order to a pacing herd of people eager for caffeine.

Having already jolted myself semi-awake with a bucket of neat black coffee, mine today is a peppermint tea. The bag is having a thorough soak. I’m feeling dreadful after my second covid jab and, on no medical evidence, have a blind faith in peppermint tea’s ability to calm things down. The tea is both warm and menthol-cool, but it lacks caffeine kick a person needs at this time of day.

Runners slouch past. A man is patiently explaining to two little people that we start the day with Shreddies, not chips. There are protests, then a little voice starts repeating ‘Here comes the train’ and down each spoonful goes.

Having finished the peppermint tea, I order an English Breakfast tea. Waiting for it with the pacers, I admire the dogs. One large brown and white specimen gazes adoringly at a distracted-looking owner – or maybe at the extra sausage the owner has just collected. A Labrador patiently fiddles with its lead while its ears are fondled during a particularly gripping conversation. Something bashful hides between two table occupants, shaking slightly and looking out at other dogs. Something curly haired and defiant stands on a table still as a statue, ignored by guzzling owners.

My tea has ‘soya’ written on the lid in neat blue biro. The brand on the tag is ‘Birchall’, which I’ve never heard of, but there’s one of those ‘Great Taste’ badges. It makes a nice, thick, malty brew, but sits in the mid range, lacking discernible bass or treble. The soya’s good, not breaking up or too rich. It’s a decent sized cup, not insanely tall, though large enough to thoroughly recharge the batteries. But I think the complete experience requires one of those white bread artery hardeners. And maybe a dog.

Love (Tea)

Last week I walked out of King’s Cross station with my daughter. As we turned on to Euston Road, I told her about the time I nearly missed the Sleeper I’d booked to visit my grandmother in Aberdeen because I went to King’s Cross instead of Euston. I had to run down the road carrying a huge rucksack to get there in time. I told my daughter how I used to visit my grandmother for her birthday in January every year, and how much I loved taking the train overnight. It made me think of Love Tea, so I bought it again today.

Image: https://www.pukkaherbs.com/uk/en/products/organic-teas.html

I loved the idea of Love Tea as soon as I saw it advertised and went straight out and bought it. In retrospect it seems odd to associate herbal tea with romance – in fact anything non-alcoholic seems a bit of a stretch – but that was what I was expecting when I bought it. I got something else entirely.

I explain what we’re testing to The Wife. She inspects the box. ‘Hang on,’ she says, ‘I’ve got to put my glasses on because the writing’s too small.’ A small pause while these are retrieved. ‘Seems to have all girls all over it, there are only two boys down the bottom. It reminds me of that thing…’ Eh?

‘It was on TV in the seventies and eighties, I can’t remember, maybe a Bond movie? There’s always dancing girls in Bond. It went doo-doo-doo… I can’t remember. Anyway, it looks like that.’ She starts trying to work out which are boys and which are girls from the bottom shape. It’s probably time to brew up.

The box suggests infusing for up to fifteen minutes, but our tea looks pretty substantial after five minutes, so I withdraw the bag. I hand The Wife hers, in a mug with a faded Shuri Castle print.

‘I never think fruit tea has a good colour. This one looks like wee. It does!’ She sips and giggles. ‘It’s ‘cos I always look at wee ‘cos I have to. As an athlete. Maybe it’s the mug…’

‘Taste-wise, I do taste quite a lot of lavender and was that because I read that there was a lot of lavender in it, or because it tastes of lavender? Is that rose in there? Maybe we need to dunk the teabag for a bit longer to get another flavour in there. Hmm…’ She sighs, contemplatively.

She continues: ‘I hope this isn’t like the valerian and it makes you sleep and I don’t wake up in the morning.’ She makes hand gestures conveying uncertainty. ‘A bit odd.’ She puts the cup down, picks up her tape measure and goes back to visualising furniture. ‘Yeah,’ she says from over by the telly. ‘Strange taste I think… Have you tasted it?… Oh, this is annoying me now. What is the name of that thing on TV?’

It smells like health food shops. Not Planet Organic or any other modern place: I mean the ones from the eighties, when eating tofu was a bit niche and only done by people in tie dye everything who wore socks and sandals (shockingly, even the latter is fashionable now) – and my granny. Long before it was fashionable, she was a strong believer in organic, holistic wholemeal everything, but also believed that this should be served with butter, cream and full-fat milk – none of your low-fat margarine nonsense. There was a particular vegan paté she favoured; her home-made muesli; dandelion coffee; and robust, grainy bread – plus apparently healthy yet wildly sugary biscuits. In the mornings she made me buttery egg on sturdy toast and set it down on a perfectly laid table, where it was dwarfed by heavy silver cutlery. In the evening she gave me ‘Night time tea’ from a box with a teddy bear in pyjamas on it. Love Tea tastes like her kitchen smelled. It doesn’t taste like any of the things that it’s made of; it smells of dark and heavy Victorian furniture, a sort of musty dustiness with depth. It’s smooth and strangely soothing.

The Wife is still researching the box. ‘Oh was it Roald Dahl? No…’ She supplies me with wine, for romance, still pondering. ‘Tales of the Unexpected!’ she announces, triumphantly. ‘That’s what it was!’ We finish the tea and I start the wine, watching the intro sequence on YouTube.